Navigating Survival

A very clear reflection on a biographical and life-threatening borderline experience. The book has strengthened the hope of my sister, who is currently struggling under a similar burden.

The light, wisdom and resilience of Carmen's spirit really shine through her words as she channels an unimaginably devastating experience into bringing something helpful and beautiful into the world. The genuine and sincere way in which she opens up about her worldview and experiences as a third-culture kid already had me teary-eyed within the first couple of pages, and got me hooked from the start. This book can serve as a practical and emotional guide to those struggling with cancer, but also shed important light on the topic for anyone else.

Carmen was a young, intelligent pretty woman with her career just launching and the world was her oyster when the unthinkable happened at the age of 25 – when she was struck by Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. It was such a shock. I was her family’s friend since she was five, our families had grown up side by side in the expat community in China, my son and Carmen had been childhood playmates, I had never imagined her falling to this lethal disease with its high score for killing its victims, a cancer which usually did not befall younger people. I was shaken. I wanted to offer my support. It was during Covid - she was trapped in hospitals in Munich and I was trapped in England - so the best I could offer was to try to talk her through it all – join the fight (virtually) alongside her via video calls, deploying the mentoring skills I had developed as a mentor to the traumatised families of prisoners in China. We talked for two years. As she went through her soul-destroying treatments, we talked about chemo, stem transplants, body pains, blackouts, we talked about wigs, therapies, death, survival, we talked about care, we talked about her family and her dogs, her career, about outreach to other sufferers, we even joked, we talked about her life in flashback and her life in flash forward and so many other things that had become part of her new thought realm, this world of cancer. I myself was a cancer survivor but this was different. This was huge. Also on my mind were the acquaintances I had known who had died from or survived this cancer. They were always much older people. For a young person with Carmen’s cancer the odds weren’t great. Early on, I raised the issue of keeping records, keeping a blog, and she was already on to it. It was something to occupy her. I always believed cancer sufferers needed tasks to keep their mind busy and focused. They must use every available moment to get on with things. I asked her to ask herself questions at the end of every day. What was the best thing that happened to me today? What did I achieve today that most surprised me? With my writer and journalist think caps on, I got her to think about the blog one day becoming a book to help other people going through similar horrors. We continued to talk after her remission, following long and torturous battles, to brainstorm how to bring this project to the finish line. And today here it is. I am deeply moved by this moment. I believe that pursuing this project alongside her physical and mental suffering kept her sane, productive, useful, and preserved her sense of self-worth in what seemed an ugly and demeaning world. She has presented her story with grit and courage and impressed me with her persistence and single-mindedness, which will be an inspirational guide to cancer survival for many other people. – Peter Humphrey, Cancer Survivor and Former Prisoner of China

Epictetus said: “It's not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters. if you want to learn what true strength is, this book is for you. Normally what people do in the face of suffering or tragedy, is to cover up, deny or run away from the pain, through these pages in a masterfully honest and real way you can learn to navigate the difficulty, strong is not who avoids feeling, but who has enough courage to live it and then decide what to do with it. The author of this book made me feel very identified and connected. It is not only a book for people who have gone through cancer, but also for all of us who at some point life has gotten hard and we don't know what to do. The world needs more brave people like this, able to make themselves vulnerable and be light, thank you for this book, you are to be admired. Also as a plus you will find scientific data and practical tips to face many situations. Very useful also for the relatives and companions of those who are going through or have gone through cancer.

Whether you are navigating a cancer diagnosis, or have a loved one who is going through that, I highly recommend you to read this book. While I knew part of her story from the Spotify podcast "How did you find out? with Carmen Dörwald", I was moved by her book. As soon as I started reading it, I was hooked by Carmen's words and how she openly shares her thoughts, fears, and hopes.